For The Girl Who Has Never Been Kissed

This tugged at me and I’d like to share a few thoughts. Regarding #1) Your worth is definitely not defined by how many kisses you have accumulated or have not. Speaking with experience, I am 20 years old and thought that I would have only a couple, hopefully only one, kisses in my life. Here I am, having been first kissed at 18, now 20 having kissed 5 people. It’s been a rough couple of weeks thinking about how much I have changed, along with my kissing morals, but after reading that I know that my list of past kisses does not define me. It also hurts to know that my friends who have not been kissed yet (in the same boat I was in during my first year of college) feel almost worthless because of their lack of a list. I cannot preach to them enough about how it doesn’t matter, because like me, they will have to learn on their own, in their own time. I wish I could have stayed at one kiss, and waited until my next real love, but I didn’t and I can’t change that. I needed that experience in a way, so I’m glad I did it, but also upset at my new numbers.

and to #6, you will find him. And if you don’t, WHO CARES! Now you can live carelessly as yourself, by yourself. I have dedicated most of my time to loving the possibilities of having a spouse, but I have come to the realization (or I am trying to) that two is not best for some. Sometimes God gives you what is best for you and that is not always getting your first kiss when you’re 18 or 19 or even 25. Sometimes you are better off alone and that does not mean you are lonely.

Thank you so much for this post Angela

Thought Catalog

Flickr / tomo tangFlickr / tomo tang

In today’s culture, there is such a heavy emphasis placed on “firsts.” Everybody is in competition with one another to see who can get their first cell phone, their first car, their first job, their first taste of alcohol, their first whatever. The biggest first, however, has traditionally been one’s first kiss. As early as 12-years-old, I had began setting deadlines for myself in regards to what goals I wanted to reach by a certain age. By 14, I would have at least found a boy that I was interested in that reciprocated the interest. By age 16, I would have had the almighty first kiss. By age 18, I had hoped to have been on many dates with a few boys, even if they didn’t lead anywhere. That’s what high school was for, right? Flash forward from my wishful 12-year-old self to my more mature…

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60+ of The Thousands of Lessons I’ve Learned From One Semester On Campus

This is me:

Photo on 2-18-15 at 12.19 PM

1) A fan is probably the best investment you will make if you live on campus (especially if you live in Carondelet at AU)

2) Joining clubs (especially the ones with grant $$$) is the best idea, because it looks good on a resume and I kid you not you get so much more socialization from it.

3) Even if you’re not a party person, go to at least one, or some… It’s an experience and you actually learn a lot about the people you go to school with.

4) If you don’t want to be involved in drama, don’t start it, and don’t spread it… And if someone’s talking about it, don’t contribute. (IMPORTANT TO SOCIAL LIFE)

5) If you decide to drink (don’t ever let anyone pressure you, it’s not a big deal if you don’t, people will actually congratulate you most times if you don’t) do it with close friends if you’re doing it for the first time. The reason for this is because it’s safer, you’ll be able to figure out what kind of drunk you are (crucial for other social situations, because no one likes an emotional drunk), and you can find out how much of what is too much.

6) Look up every one of your professors on rate my professor.com and ask everyone if they’ve had them before.

7) if someone tells you that the English department (or whatever degree you’re going for) sucks… SWITCH MAJORS. You can deal with one bad professor for a semester, but two out of three will make college hell and every day dreadful.

8) Do not kiss every guy you meet
unless you’re okay with kissing every guy you meet. You will find the right one, and the right one is most likely not going to come from a drunk kiss at 4am.

9) make friends, but do not think you have to stick to one group of friends. It’s college, you can like and dislike whoever you want to. You do not need to surround yourself with people you don’t like if you don’t have to.

10) Don’t call the R.A before talking to whoever you’re going to get in trouble. Also, don’t do the R.A’s dirty work like screenshotting your friends snapchat to get them in trouble. (They’ll try and sweet talk you into it, but stay strong)

11) Be careful when the R.A wants to be your friend. It may or may not be a good idea.

12) If you go to school with your ex, and you see them. Avoid having a full on panic attack and bursting into tears in the cafeteria, it’s unnecessary and awkward for your friends.

13) Do not leave the brita empty.

14) Use headphones if your roommate is in the room.

15) If you’re going to have sex in your room while your roommate is still there, TELL THEM or find another room. (And if you’re the roomie, sense when they’re going to come back drunk and find someplace else to crash)

16) The caf food is the reason behind your new digestion problems

17) The freshman 15 aka just discovered alcohol

18) Use the schools gym, it’s not awkward. If you’re that concerned about your body you can handle the 30-60 minutes of insecurity.

19) Don’t stretch in front of boys, unless you want them to want you in that way. It’s like a weird trigger with them.

20) You can tell a boy that you do not want to kiss him and he will respect that. I have actually said no and it was heard and listened to.

21) Be prepared for boys to touch you when they’re drunk, and be even more prepared to turn around, figure out who it was and make them wish they hadn’t.

22) Do not install yikyak. It is bullying and trashy.

23) If some girls want to make a FAKE sorority, it’s a JOKE and you do not need to obsessively make fun of them for it.

24) Be nice to everyone, you never know who will be in your group project or as your lab partner for the semester.

25) STUDY

26) Do not cheat

27) Do not steal (from people or from Walmart)

28) Get a job off campus if you’re taking less than 18 credit hours. Or even if you can handle it at 18 hrs. You’ll want the time off campus dealing with people that aren’t your age and that don’t know your problems.

29) You’re paying your professors, if you need help ASK and you will receive. They are down to earth and will help (most of them at least).

30) Shower at least once a week.

31) Charge your phone fully when going to a party.

32) Do not lose your friends at a party, or your ride because you’ll need them when the cops come.

33) If a boy/girl is dating someone, do not let them fool you into kissing them and thinking they will be single tomorrow.

34) Drunk men are not the same sober.

35) Drunk men tend to forget everything and will kiss almost anyone. Sex is sex at that point.

36) A lot of people do drugs, more than I ever thought.

37) People will talk about you.

38) Not everyone will like you, with reason or not.

39) You cannot make everyone like you.

40) Always wear flip flops in the shower, people do have sex in there, and they also pee and blow their nose (both gender bathrooms)

41) All of your money will begin to go to food, be careful of this.

42) Remember that not everyone likes confrontation, or talking about their problems. Some people feel that it’s okay to never bring up an issue, and that’s okay.

43) Do not let someone persuade you not to talk to someone. If you have an itch to talk to someone (whether it’s a boy that none of your friends like or a friend you want to confront about something) just TALK!

44) If you’re friends tell you you’re going off the deep end in some way, listen

45) Get a drying rack for your clothes. You never know when the dryers will break (most likely once a month)

46) When something goes wrong on your floor, call the RA phone. Literally no one else will, and this only prolongs the process of things getting fixed.

47) If you’re an English major, I hope you like to proofread and dissect every damn sentence there ever was.
God bless you who stick with it.

48) It’s okay to change your major to something that’s not what you ever wanted to do because you thought it was a cliche.

49) Despite what one boy that you had a crush on may tell you, you do NOT NEEEEED to come back for a masters. You will find a job.

50) No one knows what they will be doing for the next 4 or 5 years of their life. Life throws curveballs.

51) It’s normal to take 5 years to finish. Don’t rush.

52) This debt is so worth it.

53) Kansas City is filled with sweethearted snobs.

54) There is A LOT to do in a city!

55) Going to target and putting on a pizza suit and saying the F word can get you kicked out of said target

56) If you go to a small school, everyone, and I mean everyone, will know everything that happens the night before. Sometimes, if you’re lucky like me, they’ll even know your past before you get there and they’ll just stare at you and never ask you a question about it. (Sense the sarcasm, it’s not lucky)

57) If you want to know something about someone, just ask them. There is no law refraining you from talking to someone, getting close to them and finding out answers. Be gentle though and don’t come out and ask them off the bat.

58) Many students will have babies, families, and will be engaged or married. Do not place judgment on those who are or do, because you’ll be the odd one out.

59) If your friend has a pregnancy scare (more than likely this will happen) go get her plan B or a pregnancy test. Whichever, but do it fast and do it right when she tells you.

60) Talk to everyone you meet. You’ll never know who you can become clear to.

61) Go on every trip the school has! Especially if it’s free!

62) Take every free item the school gives out, which means you should go to the campus life raffles and parties because there is always free food if you don’t win.

63) You might not ever talk to your roommate and that’s okay. If you don’t, it’s a nice escape from the war zone of drama outside your door.

64) Smile at everyone, they love it, even if they don’t smile back.

65) Drink a LOT of water! Especially if you’re drinking alcohol in the winter time, alcohol helps in lowering your immune system and getting you sick.