The tired behind the wait

Being in a long distance relationship is tough and also rewarding. It’s rewarding in ways like: 1) you save money, 2) you might be motivated to work out instead of just eating out every weekend or almost every meal with your significant other, 3) therefore less or no weight gain, 4) your love seems to grow stronger and more passionate every day, 5) being long distant means you can communicate better than the typical close range couple.
Now the obvious downsides: 1) He/she is not there for you to vent to 24/7, and you usually have to schedule a time that works for both of you just so you can talk or see each other, 2) Face-Time loves to buffer or just drop dead in the middle of any sort of conversation, and also has problems with seeing yourself when a call drops and you redial, 3) That time before your period where your sex hormones or whatever it is that drives you up the wall and you could literally hump everything in sight comes when he’s not home, and there’s no way that either of you can see each other, so you are forced to kill the urge because it’s impossible to have until maybe next month, where it won’t feel the same, 4) your other friends complain about the things their boyfriend does, and you start to wonder if the same words will come out of your mouth in a year or when you have to see him everyday, and you begin to think over and over if it’s only working because we’re so distant, but then you get on the phone with him and it’s eventually alright again (which is a plus) 5) (because I have to do 5 if I did 5 on the other one) when will we see each other next? Most people, even my fianc√©, would say that goodbye is the hardest part, but I don’t think that’s it for me, because I’ve done the goodbye thing in several different ways in my life and I know we’ll see each other again sometime, but it’s the WHEN part that bothers me. I’m the type of person that needs it all laid out in front of me. You need to tell me exactly, down to the day and second of when you are planning on coming back to me. I don’t like waiting, it’s one of those things I hate most in life. (Waiting, doctors, and whiney children) . Long distance is worth it, but it can be a pain in the butt. I didn’t think waiting around for the man I love would actually be half of my relationship. But I really wouldn’t have it any other way… (Aw how gross right?)
But really… God just LOVES testing my patience.
For your information though: I get to see my beautiful prince on Valentines day ūüôā I have always hated Valentine’s Day, but it’s my first year with a man, and a fianc√©, and it’s his first with a woman, and a fianc√©e, and we cannot WAIT FOR A HEART SHAPED PIZZA TO BE SHOVELED INTO OUR MOUTHS!
Get your love on this Valentine’s Day ūüėČ
-Mackenzie Diaries



Happily Ever After



Every girl waits for those¬†big¬†moments in her life, when she gets proposed to, her wedding day, and starting a life of her own. I’ve come to realize that it’s not the big moments that we should be looking forward to, it’s the journey we take that leads us to these¬†big¬† moments. After getting the proposal I had wished for majority of last year, I wasn’t as thrilled as I hoped I would be. I think most girls just plan on being excited and want to post pictures and tell EVERYONE the good news, but I guess I always have to be different about these¬†big¬†things. I was not excited, thrilled, or wanting to post anything or let¬†anyone,¬†know that I was engaged at 19. It’s not the fact that I’m 19 that was the big deal (that part came later, in fact that never even occurred to me until I started talking to¬†everyone else), it was the fact that I was scared, I didn’t want my dream the way it was handed to me. I wasn’t thrilled or excited to start planning,¬†I wanted to go home and cuddle up in bed and was wishing I had dreamed the whole thing. Then the day started and I eventually ( over the next three days)¬†absorbed all that had happened. I was miserable for three days, on and off of course, but I just felt like the entire world of wedding plans and finding out who has been a true friend to me had just dumped on me within a matter of minutes on¬†Christmas Day,¬†of all the days in the year. (Let it be said: I had pleaded to him to propose on Christmas Day because it’s my favorite holiday and it seemed like the best way to be proposed to, but I had¬†NO IDEA how much stress comes your way after getting proposed to.) So, when I finally wrapped my head around the fact that I had just decided to make one of the biggest commitments I would ever make in my life, and had gotten over all of the silly texts from friends of the past that I needn’t over-think about, and had gone through the whole mess of our first Christmas, commuting to and from families houses, had cried to my fianc√© about everything that had been bothering me, paid for my ring’s insurance ( which we also ended up crying about in the car afterwards, because my fianc√©’s a sweetheart and wanted to pay for the insurance, but didn’t know about it and couldn’t afford it at the time that I¬†desperately wanted it), and had eventually made myself sick from being so stressed out after the proposal (or it was a mixture of stress, sleep-deprivation, and the cold of outside, we’ll never know), that led my loving, caring, always-there-for-me mother to force me to call in sick to work the two days after the proposal, after all this, I was eventually fine and back in the spirit of the my holiday that was over. I ended up making my beautiful, hard earned proposal story into a bigger mess than it should have been, but¬†helllllo, what girl wouldn’t be stressed when they only have like two and a half years to plan a wedding?! ūüėȬ†

Moral of this (untold) proposal story: 

Even though it’s exciting waiting around for life’s big adventures and dreams, it’s actually the adventure of getting to the¬†big moment you’ve been waiting for. When the moment comes, you’ll probably freak out and be stressed out about all the possibilites and things that will go wrong, so just take a step (or about 500) and take a look at why you’re doing what you’re doing. If you were just proposed to, focus on what that means for¬†you, not anyone else; and focus on what this big moment will do positively in your life. Getting married is something that I have looked forward to for quite some time, and I’m beginning to realize I might not even want a wedding, even if my Pinterest says otherwise, because I have always thought about how my “perfect” marriage would look more than I’ve thought about how my wedding would look, and I know (even at the age that I am) that the man that I am planning on marrying is going to be there for me through anything (if he can handle me through what I have put him through this far, and¬†still wants me, then I think he’s a keeper) and he will be there with me to make me smile and vice versa in the hardest times of life. I’m beginning to realize that life’s big moments aren’t something you wait around for, but you take journeys and you figure out life as you go, and things rarely turn out as you hoped for, so just enjoy what is in front of you and keep making the best of it. I may not have been thrilled or excited on the day of my proposal, but I’ve always been happy with the man that was kneeling in the snow asking me the biggest question of his life.¬†


-hopefully your life’s big moments are more joyous than mine though ūüėȬ†

‚ô° MackenzieDiaries